what it... is?

it.... is.... crunch time. time to crunch myself. it.... is..... like every song i hear makes me feel like my music sucks. not good enough. need change. need perspective. need to polish. need to meet in the middle. visit the place where everybody else seems comfortable. it..... is..... killing me to feel like i might miss an opportunity as a result of not being prepared. must get better. i'm proud of what i've accomplished. i'm proud of what's coming out this year, but a transition must occur. too much business. too many contracts. too many spreadsheets. too much free time. must get better. must tighten up my schedule. clock is ticking. bank accounts are emptying. loved ones are growing restless. we barely know each other anymore, me and the keyboard that is. we just go through the motions without any connection. i don't get lost. too safe. not good enough. too few drafts. the next step must be huge. no more baby steps. no other choice. more blog posts. more free music. more solo work. more... more.... everything?

-Dekk-