and the truth is

We allow money to disconnect us from everything. I often struggle to feel something when I create and it's because I've learned to create with monetary aspiration in mind. In fact, my studio sessions always end with a "can I sell this?"

People worry more about the cost of wedding than it's purpose, more about the status symbol of a home than it's ability to shelter and raise a family. I am guilty... Guilty of teaching myself not to feel... not to care... And now I feel homeless... I used to live less and love more and I miss it... There is a unique beauty that can only be brought to light when times are tough... It's as if the universe noticed that I forgot to feel and decided to send me a reminder and after all this time and effort I'm finally learning that music is an art that must "mean something" to it's creator. Listeners can interpret it however they like... but the source must be pure.... Funny thing... There was a time when I was 1/10th the artist, but my creative process was 10 times more true to the source. These days I don't even know the source. If someone asked me "what inspires you?" I honestly wouldn't know how to answer...

that's sad... especially when there are so many things in my life beaming with energy. The lover who gives her last dollar so that I can continue my journey. The Mother who offers a roof in my time of need. The Father who gifts a working vehicle so that I can get to and from studio sessions. The grandparent that leaves "I love you" on my voicemail knowing that I'll forget to call back. The friends who buy lunch, dinner and drinks. The fans that take a moment out of their day to send an email. The random acquaintance that leaves a genuine, helpful comment on a silly blog. I won't bore you with the entire list... you get the point... Now it's time for me to get the point.

ahhh... clarity is refreshing :-)

-Dekk-