Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Lupe said...

"Is it somethin they could never believe? Or is it somethin you could never achieve? Is it beyond your means? Is it inside your dreams? Can it never come out cause it's scared to? Too unprepared to? Too worried 'bout the words of the people it's weird to?...."

I was driving this morning and Fighters came on... The first verse floored me (once again) to the point where I was about to cry...

Sometimes I feel embarrassed to explain to people what I'm doing. For instance, I've known that music/art was what I wanted to do with my life for about 5 years, but it's just now that I'm actually pursuing a career. I was so scared to take the leap into the unexpected that I actually got a college degree and hid my true aspirations from my family. Now I'm $40,000 in debt....

This weekend Randa's dad visited from the east coast. I found myself avoiding any conversation pertaining to my professional life. He would never say anything negative or condescending, nor would any of my other close friends and family. What scares me is what they might be thinking. Do they think I'm crazy? Do they think it's a cliche dream for a twenty-something? Do they think I'm naive? Do they think that I have no chance?

Those who know me have been quick to say that I come off as cocky. I can admit that I am to a certain extent, but most of my words are intended to be playful. Don't get me wrong, I believe in myself (very much) but I'm just not good at being a "Kanye". I couldn't walk up to somebody and tell them that they're stupid if they don't believe in me. When selling production, I find it hard to insist that artists work with me now because the price is going to be much higher soon. Despite the opinions of many, I'm actually a relatively humble person and I can be honest that I have a few self doubts.

Who am I to say that somebody should work with me? I'm still learning and I anticipate that I always will be...


Dear Dekk,

Forget what people think. Trust your talent and your vision. Insist that people hear your work for what it is. Even if they don't like it, they should respect it (if they don't they're stupid). What you lack now can be made up by your persona and hard work. Most people love you (stupid people hate you). Everything that you touch has the potential to carry your charisma. Music is charisma (good thing you have plenty). You are important, prove it. People do not believe in those who struggle to believe in themselves. Love yourself and, as HcCho says, "forgive yourself".... Go catch a fucking dinosaur...

Love always,


brandUn DeShay said...

i got you bro. i guess i was lucky to advance past that stage quickly. i mean, blessed. im too lazy to backspace the other stuff.

but yea man. keep it going. know in your heart where youre supposed to be and you'll get there.

i still got a ways to go, but i already feel like im close. im to the point that i feel my music is undeniable.

ask charles's manager. lol

i told him he'd be crazy not to put my work aside because i know its better than anything, anybody else sent him.

im 100% certain.

im rootin for ya brian. see ya at the top. YULE!!

35ozNin said...

I really respect what you're doing. Its an inspiration to me because I'm pretty much where you were a few years ago, 18 in school getting a degree I could care less about. Music is what I want to do but I look at the climate of music right now and so many people are pursuing it(most of them for the wrong reasons). I know this is what i was made to do, though, and music is what God gave me. People like you give me the confidence to step off the ledge and just do it. Thanks for having the faith I'm still trying to find, bro. Keep going.

Randa said...

I just want to let you know that even when or if others stop believing in you, I will always support what you do. You are so's what drew me to you in the first place remember? (Singer dates producer...very cliche, I know)
You WILL succeed...just be aware of how you define success. I Love you and am always here for you! BTW, we do need to finish Hanif's song some damn time soon :)

My Heart,